Top 5 Lessons Learned As A New Mom

My top 5 most important lessons I’ve learned as a new mom of two

Being a mom is one of the greatest joys and treasures of my life. Since I was little, I knew I wanted to be a mom and looked forward to the day I had my own children to raise. I daydreamed about what my husband would look like, where we would meet, where we would live, and how many kids we would have. I come from a big family and have always wanted a lot of children. My husband comes from a smaller family and has only wanted two. Right now, we have two, but eventually I’d love more if the Lord sees fit. We have grown a lot as parents and I’ve learned a lot of lessons along the way. Today, I want to share with you my top 5 lessons I’ve learned as a mom of two precious little ones. 

1. Take care of yourself so you can take care of others

You just gave birth to a precious human being!! Give yourself time to rest. Accept help for meals from friends and family. Your body just went through 9+ months of housing & growing a tiny human and now you get to enjoy your sweet newborn. It’s a beautiful time, but it does come with its challenges. Having a baby is one of the biggest life adjustments you will ever make! As a mom, nurturing your newborn may come naturally, but learning your new little one and what they need will take time. Not only are you recovering from giving birth and your emotions may be running wild, now you have a major responsibility placed on you that you’ve never had before. I specifically remember my first nights in the hospital when I was trying to sleep and would just look over at MY baby who would be going home with me the next day. I was ready and excited, but also remember feeling the weight of that responsibility and feeling a little overwhelmed. My first piece of advice is to give yourself grace and TIME to adjust. To take care of yourself well, so that you can take care of your babies to the best of your ability. Accept help from others, ask your in laws or husband to watch the baby while you sleep and bring them in to nurse, then take them again. This will allow you to get some sleep during the day and will help you heal and recover more quickly.

No one can prepare you for the challenges a new baby brings, but being prepared for recovery with creating a postpartum care basket like this can help. If you have family or friends in town to help right after baby is born, it is beneficial to let them know the best ways they can care for you and the baby. Keep yourself hydrated and have a basket of healthy snacks by your bed, especially if you are breastfeeding. Wear loose or nursing friendly outfits or robes like this one that make you feel comfortable and pretty. Remember to give yourself grace and time to adjust as you start on this new parenting journey.

Also read: After Birth Must Haves: The Unglamorous list of Postpartum Essentials

2. Embrace each stage

Some moms love and thrive when they first bring their babies home. I honestly feel like I didn’t come out of the “newborn stage fog” until my babies were about 6-8 weeks old. Probably because I was running on very little sleep, felt like I was in survival mode, or sometimes overwhelmed with daily tasks around the house. I remember times got hard with my 1-2 month old when he would be awake right when we were trying to go to bed and we couldn’t figure out that fussy period (most babies have a 2 hour window in their day where they are just fussy and there’s not much you can do about it).

I remember with my first child, I felt like a “milk machine” right after delivery since we were breastfeeding and newborns nurse so frequently. You can read about my breastfeeding journey here in “Truths About Breastfeeding.” Breastfeeding takes practice, patience and persistence and soon it becomes so natural and second nature. During the first 6 weeks, I remember thinking “WOW! I have a huge respect for moms!” I definitely learned that motherhood takes sacrifice. Sacrifice of your time, your energy, your body, your sleep, etc… I always knew this, but never really appreciated moms like I do now. I have a new respect and admiration for all moms out there. Just remember when times get tough, remember that this stage doesn’t last forever and try your best to embrace the season you are in.

In our fast paced culture and lifestyle, I think its easy to want to push our kids to “keep up” or hit that next milestone so quickly. It’s great to want to educate and inspire our kids to learn and explore, but don’t get carried away in vicariously living through them or push them just because it’s what we “think” they should be doing. When we start to compare our kids to the ones we hear about through social media, articles we read, or our friends children, we can get frustrated or even worrisome. Sometimes we can get caught up looking forward to the next phase, and completely miss the one we are in. Each phase comes with its challenges and draw backs, but we need to remember to live in the moment and don’t wish away the time we have with them. They are only babies once and it flies by too quickly to always be anticipating and dreaming of the next phase. Even in the most difficult season, remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and no phase last forever. It will be over before you know it, so don’t miss it.

3. Don’t compare yourself or your children to others

Its hard not to compare yourself or your baby (“HER baby is sleeping through the night!?” “THEIR baby is so good at restaurants.” “THEIR baby is already saying those words/ crawling/ eating solids” etc.) When we compare our lives we can fall into a state of being discouraged. Just remember, other parents are going through similar things we are, we are not alone, and we are all just trying to figure it out as we go. I KNOW we all fall into comparing ourselves to that mom on social media that looks like she has it all together and has all four of her kiddos under control. Trust me, no one’s lives are as pretty or curated as their Instagram profile. Comparing yourselves or your kids to others will just steal your joy and bring about undue worries or anxiety.

4. Motherhood can be lonely… but it doesn’t have to be!

I’ll say it, amidst the spit up, dirty diapers, dishes and laundry, some days are just plain lonely. Even if you have little ones with you most of the time and can barely even shower in peace, somedays you may just need some adult interaction! Sometimes, the only conversations you’ll have all day is with your two year old who you can barely understand. I totally get it. Motherhood can be isolating and lonely and it’s totally normal to feel that way. Odds are, if I am feeling this way, other moms are in the exact same boat! Let’s help other moms know they are not alone and that we are in this together. One simple way is by being the first to reach out and ask to get together, instead of waiting for other moms to initiate and then feeling left out when they don’t. It’s easy to throw a pity party instead of doing something about it! Playdates are great for the kiddos but are equally important for the moms. I have really enjoyed doing playdates, joining a local moms group, seeing other moms while my three year old goes to dance, and being around other moms at church. It helps to know that you are all in it together and that you are not alone in this motherhood journey!

5. Find joy everyday & enjoy your kids

The last thing I have learned as a mom is just to ENJOY my children. To go with the flow and not expect them to be perfect everywhere I go. I learned to change my mindset from them being a “distraction” from the bajillion things I need to get done that day- to realizing that THEY are my greatest work. I realized I need to find joy in the mundane, everyday tasks and create an environment for love and laughter in the home. To turn off the T.V., put down the phone and just ENJOY my children. Maybe start a dance party in the kitchen while doing some dishes. Turn on some music and sing together, take a trip out to the library or local play place for them to run around. Get out of the house everyday, even if it seems like a hassle. Find a way to turn simple moments into great memories and embrace the stage you are in. Every little moment is laying the foundation and helping to shape them into who they will be. You are setting for them a great example of being content and joyful in whatever season you are in.

I hope my lessons learned as a new mom can encourage you to embrace this season of motherhood. Some of my biggest lessons I’ve learned as a new mom are to take care of yourself so you can best take care of others, not fall into the game of comparison, link arms with other moms, and find joy everyday. I am still learning that every stage and new development come with new challenges and excitements and I want to try to embrace and learn in each stage. I know that difficult seasons WILL pass and one day we will look back and wonder where all the time went! I hope and pray that we will rely on God for strength and patience to be the best moms for our children and to thank Him for entrusting us with these precious gifts to raise.

Need some nursing friendly options or delivery robes for your hospital bag? You can snag this gorgeous robe here!

Also Read: What I (really) packed in my hospital bag the second time around.

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What are some of the biggest lessons you’ve learned as a mom? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below! Let’s all encourage and learn from one another no matter what season you are in! Also, come say hi over on Instagram or Facebook if you haven’t yet! I’d love to connect with you.